Sardar Jee k Jokes..

Sardar Jee k Jokes..
hi friends :lol: do post jokes of sardar jee here :lol:

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a song. After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started singing again. Banta Singh : Santa Singh, what is the matter with you? Why are you hanging upside down. Santa Singh : I am singing the B side. ---------------------------------------------------------- This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata" ---------------------------------------------------------- Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Oye, I am only following the instructions 'Answer in brief'.; -------------------------------------------------------- Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees , the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Asked a person next to him ; What's the matter?; Replied he ;The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else.; ----------------------------------------------------------

Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go. Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first. A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!" Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it.... A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d Car he was Driving... A Teacher lecturing on population: "In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. " A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!” A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?" Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''. Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies. Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words. And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!" Sardar Ji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping. Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what... To avoid side effects!!! Man: Sardarji where were U born? Sardarji: Punjab . Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar". Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... " Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!" A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her.... Girl said- "What R U doing...?" Sardar replied- "B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar" Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me. I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card" A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats" A Sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). " The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258" Q :) How does U recognize a sardar in school or College??? A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard.. . BOLO tarara!! Q :) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale? A :) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept....... . Santa Singh MBBS After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice. He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator? Bunta : I give up. Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music Jasmeet : "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa." Judge : "But why ?" Jasmeet : "Because he is not faithful to me." Judge : "How do you know ?" Jasmeet : "My lord, not a single child resembles him." From his death bed, Santa called his wife Jasmeet and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Banta." Jasmeet : "Bunta ! But he is your enemy !" Santa : "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now." Bunta : I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms. Santa : kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, she didn't get the fax." Santa : "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, Jasmeet would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." Bunta : "Why complain?, You're still getting the same service!" Preeto : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?" Jasmeet drew Santa's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" Santa : "I would love to, "But I don't know her well enough... may be you could introduce us..! Santa : "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her." Bunta : "And when you are angry, what do you do?" Santa : "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back. Jasmeet : My husband always comes home late, no matter how I try. Preeto : "Take my advice, and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jaspal?" And that cured him. Jasmeet : "Cured him !... But how?" Preeto : "You know, his name is Banta." Santa : "You looked troubled, what's your problem?" Bunta : "I'm going to be a father." Santa : "But that's wonderful," Bunta : "What's wonderful? My wife Preeto doesn't know about it yet. Jasmeet : If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to come in your mind? Santa : That you are a lesbian. Bunta : "Do you talk to your wife after sex?" Santa : "Depends, If I Can find a Phone" Santa to Jasmeet on their wedding night- " Santa : "Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with ?" Jasmeet : "Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!" It was mealtime on Punjab Airline . Air Hostess : "Would you like dinner?" Bunta : "What are my choices?" Air Hostess : "Yes or no," Jasmeet : You always carry my photo in your wallet to the office. Why? Santa : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Jasmeet : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Santa : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" Santa : "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" Jasmeet : "Honey, I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE" Jasmeet : "What do you like most in me: my pretty face or my body?" Santa : looking at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of Humor. Santa went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice. Guess why ? because there it was written "Number Dial Karne Se Pehele Do Lagae" Santa was driving with girlfriend Preeto to Chandigarh. He puts his hand on her lap. She smiles and says, "You can go further dear..". So, Santa drives to SHIMLA.

:4:

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies. Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words. And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!" =)) lolz ^this was the best one :P-

i know ryte dat was soooo funny

nice sabiiii :P

mazy ke tey :4:

Q: SOMEONE ASKED IF A sardarji BELIEVED IN SMOKING. A: He said "Yes, I've seen it done." Q: A sardarji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces." Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie? A: because below 18 was not allowed !!! Q: How do you keep a sardarji busy? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper Q: How do you confuse a sardarji? A: You don't. They're born that way. Santa Singh and Banta Singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other. Santa Singh : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?' Banta Singh : 'Yes, I have' Santa Singh : 'Well, my father dug it.' Banta Singh : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead Sea?' Santa Singh : 'Yes, I have.' Banta Singh : 'Well, my father killed it.' ========================================= 2 Sardarji's got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They take 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. One asks the other "What happens if the bombs blast off now" The other says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat"-

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Once a sardarji calls another sardar on the phone and says 'Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon'. The other sardarji replies 'Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!' ********************************************************** Doctor to Sardar: 'Aapka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai!' Sardar: 'Hoga, zaroor hoga! 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!' ********************************************************** The sardarji banged his car into another at a crossing. His was not damaged, but the other car was crushed. 'Call me up and tell me how much the repairs cost. I'll pay the bills, ' he told the other driver and started to pull away. 'What is your phone number?' 'It's in the phone book,' the sardarji called back. 'But what's your name?' 'Oh, that's in the phone book, too.' ***************************************** Banta Singh: 'Yaar, tu parda laga ke biwi ko pyar kiya kar. Kal bahaar se tum dono dikh rahe the!' Santa singh: 'By god main bach gaya, kal main ghar mein nahi tha!' ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Santa Singh at an interview: Question: What is Ford? Santa: Gaddi!!! Question: Good, what is Oxford? Santa: Bailgaddi!-

lol sardar jees =))

lolz ..... zabardast :P

A sardar used to go college with his dog, After few years he had to go alone... Why?? Because.. The Dog graduated...!!!

Chaiwala : Bholi si surat, aankho mein masti, door khadi sharmaye, hai hai. Ladki : Kali si surat, hatho mein kitli, door khada chillaye, chai chai. =))

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